There was nothing today. I’m not sure why well maybe I do. I’m one step closer to the end :(
No sleep still
I’m still here waiting for my iphone to restore back my photos. My head is pain and I just wish this feeling goes away. I just found out I was rejected. It really hurts because I tried so hard to put my work together. I guess it wasn’t meant to be. This goes for people, I always go all out for them. Even though I know they will never for me. I’m just not worth it I guess. Maybe this is why i appreciate the little things people do for me so much. I just got a christmas card in the mail from my friend and I honestly felt special for once. I never get anything from anyone, but this meant a lot. It’s christmas season and I know that i’m not worthy for anything cool. what’s wrong with me, right? I just wish I get something meaningful but that will never happen.
I’ve been up way too long, it’s almost morning and yesterday I didn’t get much sleep either. I’m trying to do things to get my mind off things, but it’s not working. Hopefully in a few hours I’ll be fine. Today I watched a movie, gullivers travels and I worked. I fell on my ass which was funny. But it sure is bruised. I’m off to sleep. I guess
I can’t sleep again. The little things haunt me but I know they shouldn’t. It’s too hard to ignore and it bothers me. I got the feeling I hate again. The sharp pangs through my chest keeps on breaking me down. I hate this feeling. I really try so hard and I’m sick of trying when what I try for tries for something else. I just want this sadness to turn to happiness but Im starting to believe it won’t exist for me never
hmmm
I had a good day today. I worked on photos and
last days at the apt
I’m gonna miss that apartment eventhough I’m broke after living there. I had tons of great memories there and fun. I explored the trail to the lake today with the sis. seriously it took us a year to find it. It’s sealed and I have stupid carpet stains that I’ve been trying to clean out. Our fridge is clean though lol. I miss the movie nights the most. I miss the view and the nice relaxing walk. Great times.
Today I graduated. Although not really. Still sticking an extra semester. But I’ll see. I might end up running off to a different country. I don’t like US soil anymore. I want something new while I’m young. Be adventurous. Explore. Create. Change. How could it be any better than this….
I went to cover the May Day Rally for my final. This is a photo my friend Chris Ramirez took. I say it’s my favorite. That man really showed his expression and passion for the cause.
Self-portrait.
I’m a little bummed today. Things never go the way you want them to go. It’s just the way it is. I don’t understand many things and I especially can’t on this one. I learned that the fun part is just beginning and it’s my favorite. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me. But I’m going to make my mark. It always makes me feel better and stronger. Another waiting game is not going to happen.
For now I’ll just reflect on who I am and how I’m going to destroy assholes with my weapons.
Sometimes I don’t know why I’m here or what is my reason. Sometimes I think I brighten people’s days, but sometimes I feel like I’m useless or a ghost. I’m afraid of what will come next. I don’t want to be released in the world just yet. Although sometimes I wish I was far away from all of this.
America’s Got Talent
I just came back from a taping from the show. I got to see Howie Mandel who replaced Hasselhoff, Sharon Osborne, and the British guy who waved Hi back to Kasia and me. I got to admit I lost my energy after 3 hours of sitting there…I’m exhausted. Got some mixed news from my mum about her condition. But the one good thing that came out of today besides my phone being auto locked for an hour sucks.
I mainly went the next day also because I was a little sad after I found something out. It’s funny how blind people are. They go all out for others who don’t for them and the ones who do their best never get that treatment. I always tell myself it’s okay. hmm…..
